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an_afternoon_of_torment [2010/02/01 02:26]
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an_afternoon_of_torment [2010/02/01 02:47]
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 The final overwhelming climax finally came as she was leaning against the front of my hanging body to stub her lighted cigarette end on my thrashed backside.\\ ​ The final overwhelming climax finally came as she was leaning against the front of my hanging body to stub her lighted cigarette end on my thrashed backside.\\ ​
 I could smell her perfume and feel the full latex clad curvaceous body of this gorgeously seductive, pitiless sadist forcing herself against mine.\\ I could smell her perfume and feel the full latex clad curvaceous body of this gorgeously seductive, pitiless sadist forcing herself against mine.\\
 +\\
 **CHAPTER 7: PARADISE.**\\ **CHAPTER 7: PARADISE.**\\
 \\ \\
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 Now it was impossible as she continued dragging me across to another door virtually opposite.\\ ​ Now it was impossible as she continued dragging me across to another door virtually opposite.\\ ​
 I entered what was obviously the toilet by the horrible stinking smell. She pulled me in further and pointed to the toilet seat. It was made of white plastic and it was filthy with bits of excrement splattered on it.  In the split second before she gave her next command, the frightening reality of my predicament was enough to send a further wave of anxiety through my entire body.\\ I entered what was obviously the toilet by the horrible stinking smell. She pulled me in further and pointed to the toilet seat. It was made of white plastic and it was filthy with bits of excrement splattered on it.  In the split second before she gave her next command, the frightening reality of my predicament was enough to send a further wave of anxiety through my entire body.\\
 +\\
 **CHAPTER 9: THE TOILET BOWL.**\\ **CHAPTER 9: THE TOILET BOWL.**\\
 \\ \\
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 Then in helpless despair, I felt her, with callous indifference,​ tightly bind my already raw, sore, inflamed elbows with chain.\\ ​ Then in helpless despair, I felt her, with callous indifference,​ tightly bind my already raw, sore, inflamed elbows with chain.\\ ​
 Appalled at the thought that I would be once again be totally immobilized,​ I feebly tried to hinder her intentions, but she didn’t even appear to notice as she brutally forced my elbows almost together behind my back, binding them with several tight turns and securing them with padlocks.\\ Appalled at the thought that I would be once again be totally immobilized,​ I feebly tried to hinder her intentions, but she didn’t even appear to notice as she brutally forced my elbows almost together behind my back, binding them with several tight turns and securing them with padlocks.\\
- +\\ 
 **CHAPTER 10: LEFT ALONE.**\\ **CHAPTER 10: LEFT ALONE.**\\
-\\\\+\\
 She stood up and walked around me, viewing her handiwork and giving me a series of sharp kicks with the toes of her stilettos, obviously pleased with her newly found expertise with my own equipment.\\ ​ She stood up and walked around me, viewing her handiwork and giving me a series of sharp kicks with the toes of her stilettos, obviously pleased with her newly found expertise with my own equipment.\\ ​
 I on the other hand, was now even more distraught and extremely alarmed by the realization I was once again in a state of virtual incapacity and the dreadful implications of that situation. \\ I on the other hand, was now even more distraught and extremely alarmed by the realization I was once again in a state of virtual incapacity and the dreadful implications of that situation. \\
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 Fearful anticipation of what was about to happen almost took my mind off the pain I was experiencing being secured in such a rigid and humiliating position, and the constant throbbing agony from all areas of my body.\\ ​ Fearful anticipation of what was about to happen almost took my mind off the pain I was experiencing being secured in such a rigid and humiliating position, and the constant throbbing agony from all areas of my body.\\ ​
 “I’ll take that silence as a yes.”\\ “I’ll take that silence as a yes.”\\
-She relentlessly forced the obscenity up my backside until it felt as if she was splitting it in two. I had been hurting so much all over that I’d thought that I just couldn’t feel any further pain, but she’d found another area to brutalize and I was forlornly screaming with agony once again.  +She relentlessly forced the obscenity up my backside until it felt as if she was splitting it in two. I had been hurting so much all over that I’d thought that I just couldn’t feel any further pain, but she’d found another area to brutalize and I was forlornly screaming with agony once again.\\  
-“Too bad you’re gagged, I’d love to make you squeal like a happy pig as I forced this up. Unfortunately someone outside might hear you. We’re all alone in this house though – think about it, we can do as we please with no one to disturb us.” +“Too bad you’re gagged, I’d love to make you squeal like a happy pig as I forced this up. Unfortunately someone outside might hear you.\\ We’re all alone in this house though – think about it, we can do as we please with no one to disturb us.”\\ 
-She laughed, “One day, when I get a nice sound-proofed dungeon, I’ll be able to make you pathetic slaves scream really loud in agony anytime the mood takes me.” ​+She laughed, “One day, when I get a nice sound-proofed dungeon, I’ll be able to make you pathetic slaves scream really loud in agony anytime the mood takes me.” ​\\
 Desperately trying to relax my backside as I soon discovered that trying to resist the dildo’s entry made the pain worse. I just had to endure until the loathsome object was worked in to her satisfaction.\\ ​ Desperately trying to relax my backside as I soon discovered that trying to resist the dildo’s entry made the pain worse. I just had to endure until the loathsome object was worked in to her satisfaction.\\ ​
 “D’you know there’s now two big black bollocks sticking out of your arse? It just didn’t seem fair, just having one prick to suck on, without having another one pleasuring you up your arse. Aren’t I good to you? You must be in sissy-boy heaven.”\\ ​ “D’you know there’s now two big black bollocks sticking out of your arse? It just didn’t seem fair, just having one prick to suck on, without having another one pleasuring you up your arse. Aren’t I good to you? You must be in sissy-boy heaven.”\\ ​
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 Had I been able to move freely, the crawl would have still been slow and very painful. \\ Had I been able to move freely, the crawl would have still been slow and very painful. \\
 But still chained and very restricted with movement, I found I simply couldn’t obey her.\\ But still chained and very restricted with movement, I found I simply couldn’t obey her.\\
-  +\\  
-**CHAPTER 14: HOBBLING IN TERROR.** +**CHAPTER 14: HOBBLING IN TERROR.**\\ 
-By now, the chain had cut so much into the flesh of my elbows and ankles that mere movement was torture.  +\\ 
-The pain in my poor torn, mutilated and burnt chest was being further intensified by my attempt to drag myself along that filthy floor.  +By now, the chain had cut so much into the flesh of my elbows and ankles that mere movement was torture.\\  
-What with the dildo and the ache from all my other wounds, I was nearly fainting with agony and I just flapped around on the floor making no forward progress.  +The pain in my poor torn, mutilated and burnt chest was being further intensified by my attempt to drag myself along that filthy floor.\\  
-I heard an exasperated expletive from her and she walked over and started whipping the soles of my feet with her crop.  +What with the dildo and the ache from all my other wounds, I was nearly fainting with agony and I just flapped around on the floor making no forward progress.\\  
-“I’m not waiting all fucking day, you’re crawling slower than a snail!” +I heard an exasperated expletive from her and she walked over and started whipping the soles of my feet with her crop.\\  
-I’d thought my body was so racked with pain that she couldn’t add to it, but I’d never realized the soles of my feet were so sensitive. This new pain shot up my legs and body, exploding with renewed agony in my brain.  +“I’m not waiting all fucking day, you’re crawling slower than a snail!”\\ 
-I made desperate efforts to avoid her thrashing and tried to crawl faster, but despite all this additional torture the merciless creature was inflicting upon me, I was just physically unable to comply.  +I’d thought my body was so racked with pain that she couldn’t add to it, but I’d never realized the soles of my feet were so sensitive. This new pain shot up my legs and body, exploding with renewed agony in my brain.\\  
-I just collapsed on the floor, virtually semi-conscious with extreme pain and my body convulsing with each vicious stroke of her crop. It must have become obvious even to her that I simply wasn’t able to move, because she finally stopped thrashing me. +I made desperate efforts to avoid her thrashing and tried to crawl faster, but despite all this additional torture the merciless creature was inflicting upon me, I was just physically unable to comply.\\  
-“Fuck! I was looking forward to watching you crawl all the way to the hook of delight.” +I just collapsed on the floor, virtually semi-conscious with extreme pain and my body convulsing with each vicious stroke of her crop. It must have become obvious even to her that I simply wasn’t able to move, because she finally stopped thrashing me.\\ 
-I was quivering on the floor, weeping animal like sobs of extreme distress.  +“Fuck! I was looking forward to watching you crawl all the way to the hook of delight.”\\ 
-“Perhaps all is not lost, I can still amuse myself making your movement really slow.” +I was quivering on the floor, weeping animal like sobs of extreme distress.\\  
-Virtually de-humanized by the pain from her merciless brutality, I’d long since given up any reaction to her painful assaults on my frail flesh. +“Perhaps all is not lost, I can still amuse myself making your movement really slow.”\\ 
-I was roughly manhandled up to a standing position, and I shrieked as I felt the full effect of the thrashing she’d given to my feet.  +Virtually de-humanized by the pain from her merciless brutality, I’d long since given up any reaction to her painful assaults on my frail flesh.\\ 
-She chained my knees together in much the same way she’d observed me do earlier. She then walked back and stood by the hanging chain once again.+I was roughly manhandled up to a standing position, and I shrieked as I felt the full effect of the thrashing she’d given to my feet. \\ 
 +She chained my knees together in much the same way she’d observed me do earlier. She then walked back and stood by the hanging chain once again.\\
 “As you can’t crawl, at least you can manage a slow hobble. Make your way over here to me!” she commanded, pointing to the chain in her hand. “As you can’t crawl, at least you can manage a slow hobble. Make your way over here to me!” she commanded, pointing to the chain in her hand.
-As soon as I started to reluctantly obey her command, I understood why she’d gone through the bother of adding further restrictive bindings to my already manacled legs. +As soon as I started to reluctantly obey her command, I understood why she’d gone through the bother of adding further restrictive bindings to my already manacled legs.\\ 
-With my knees now tightly bound, I found I could only shuffle forward a few inches at a time.  +With my knees now tightly bound, I found I could only shuffle forward a few inches at a time.\\  
-Gagged, my elbows pinioned behind my back, hobbled by my short ankle chain and my bound knees, my poor tortured body screaming in agony, a devilishly huge foreign object forced up my backside and now with the soles of my feet screaming out with pain – my progress was slow and harrowing. +Gagged, my elbows pinioned behind my back, hobbled by my short ankle chain and my bound knees, my poor tortured body screaming in agony, a devilishly huge foreign object forced up my backside and now with the soles of my feet screaming out with pain – my progress was slow and harrowing.\\ 
-My distraught mind understood I was hobbling towards certain further torture, but despite my mind screaming out I couldn’t take any more pain, it was virtually burnt into my consciousness now to instantly react to and dumbly obey her every command. +My distraught mind understood I was hobbling towards certain further torture, but despite my mind screaming out I couldn’t take any more pain, it was virtually burnt into my consciousness now to instantly react to and dumbly obey her every command.\\ 
-The few times I dared look down at her waiting for me, I could see from her expression of mocking amusement, why she’d deliberately restricted my movement.  +The few times I dared look down at her waiting for me, I could see from her expression of mocking amusement, why she’d deliberately restricted my movement. ​\\ 
-She was deliberately prolonging her callous pleasure of both watching a helplessly bound, mutilated male, shuffling very slowly towards what that male knew was further agonising torment and adding  to her elation, the  total domination and control she had over that abject creature.  +She was deliberately prolonging her callous pleasure of both watching a helplessly bound, mutilated male, shuffling very slowly towards what that male knew was further agonising torment and adding  to her elation, the  total domination and control she had over that abject creature.\\  
-I finally reached the hanging chain and, as I’d anticipated,​ she went about coupling it to my bindings.  +I finally reached the hanging chain and, as I’d anticipated,​ she went about coupling it to my bindings.\\  
-She almost lifted me off the floor, and by using one of my larger chain connectors as a hook on the elbow chain, she left me almost hanging, most of my weight being taken by the pinioned elbows, rather than the toes of my tortured feet.  +She almost lifted me off the floor, and by using one of my larger chain connectors as a hook on the elbow chain, she left me almost hanging, most of my weight being taken by the pinioned elbows, rather than the toes of my tortured feet.\\  
-After that, she stood back and examined me. +After that, she stood back and examined me.\\ 
-Still not satisfied, she forced my wrists together behind me and secured them with my manacles. The fact that she was bothering to take such deliberation and care into ensure my virtually immobility, had me sinking into an almost suicidal despair; convinced that all I could look forward to now were hours of excruciating torment. +Still not satisfied, she forced my wrists together behind me and secured them with my manacles. The fact that she was bothering to take such deliberation and care into ensure my virtually immobility, had me sinking into an almost suicidal despair; convinced that all I could look forward to now were hours of excruciating torment.\\ 
-She stood back and cold-bloodedly examined her handiwork as I hung before her; I was nearly blacking out with pain and trepidation. +She stood back and cold-bloodedly examined her handiwork as I hung before her; I was nearly blacking out with pain and trepidation.\\ 
-“There now, I know you just love to be hanging around all chained up.”  +“There now, I know you just love to be hanging around all chained up.”\\  
-She continued, heartlessly mocking my enforced silence, “Honestly,​ the trouble I take to ensure your total enjoyment – and do I hear some appreciation?​” +She continued, heartlessly mocking my enforced silence, “Honestly,​ the trouble I take to ensure your total enjoyment – and do I hear some appreciation?​”\\ 
-She put her hand up to her ear and pretended to listen for a reply from me. +She put her hand up to her ear and pretended to listen for a reply from me.\\ 
-“I don’t hear a thank you mistress. How ungrateful, you’re clearly seeking further punishment.”  +“I don’t hear a thank you mistress. How ungrateful, you’re clearly seeking further punishment.” ​\\ 
-I tensed as she came to me, leaning against my suspended body and toying with the dildo.  +I tensed as she came to me, leaning against my suspended body and toying with the dildo.\\ 
-CHAPTER 15: PITILESS APPRAISAL. +\\  
-She became more forceful playing with the dildo, laughing openly at my obvious distress as my body swung on the chain while I made despairingly feeble efforts to move my immobilized body from her increasingly vigorous thrusts. +**CHAPTER 15: PITILESS APPRAISAL.**\\ 
-“I’m forgetting, this is pleasure for you, not punishment.”  +\\ 
-She let go of the dildo and flicked at my limp penis. “Not turned on yet?” She affected a dismayed sigh, then said: “I suppose it takes an enormous dick to really get you going.” +She became more forceful playing with the dildo, laughing openly at my obvious distress as my body swung on the chain while I made despairingly feeble efforts to move my immobilized body from her increasingly vigorous thrusts.\\ 
-She moved away and stood directly in front of me, contemplating my tormented figure. +“I’m forgetting, this is pleasure for you, not punishment.”\\  
-I only dared raise my head and take swift petrified glances at her. If it was possible to add to my extreme distress at that stage, the sight of her standing instinctively posed as if she was modelling her outfit and looking as seductively beautiful and fresh as she was at the start of our session, added to my mental torment. +She let go of the dildo and flicked at my limp penis. “Not turned on yet?” She affected a dismayed sigh, then said: “I suppose it takes an enormous dick to really get you going.”\\ 
-For split seconds, the insane contrast between the actuality of her stunning physical loveliness and the half demented, mercilessly tortured, quivering travesty of a man she’d reduced me to in that same period flared up in my agitated mind. Then the thought kept dying as the throbbing pain and hopelessness of my position overwhelmed me again. +She moved away and stood directly in front of me, contemplating my tormented figure.\\ 
-In those seconds though, I could also see, from the movements of her satin-gloved hands sensuously stroking her breasts and massaging the tight latex between her legs, that merely by studying my appalling condition, she was experiencing some sort of pleasurable erotic stimulation. +I only dared raise my head and take swift petrified glances at her. If it was possible to add to my extreme distress at that stage, the sight of her standing instinctively posed as if she was modelling her outfit and looking as seductively beautiful and fresh as she was at the start of our session, added to my mental torment.\\ 
-Her wide eyes glowed, drinking in the sight of my enfeebled body as it hung helplessly before her. Adding to her sadistic pleasure must have been the callously amusing thought of her gagged victim’s futile efforts to scream out for mercy.  +For split seconds, the insane contrast between the actuality of her stunning physical loveliness and the half demented, mercilessly tortured, quivering travesty of a man she’d reduced me to in that same period flared up in my agitated mind. Then the thought kept dying as the throbbing pain and hopelessness of my position overwhelmed me again.\\ 
-She was probably further elated at the memory of how easily she had enslaved, tortured and humiliated the previously pretentious male. +In those seconds though, I could also see, from the movements of her satin-gloved hands sensuously stroking her breasts and massaging the tight latex between her legs, that merely by studying my appalling condition, she was experiencing some sort of pleasurable erotic stimulation.\\ 
-Finally, after what seemed ages, she suddenly stopped fondling herself—apparently my immobility had started to irritate her.  +Her wide eyes glowed, drinking in the sight of my enfeebled body as it hung helplessly before her. Adding to her sadistic pleasure must have been the callously amusing thought of her gagged victim’s futile efforts to scream out for mercy.\\  
-“Don’t just hang there passively, struggle like you did early on!” +She was probably further elated at the memory of how easily she had enslaved, tortured and humiliated the previously pretentious male.\\ 
-However, she’d chained and manacled my limbs so viciously tight that I was almost in a state of paralysis. I could only manage some unconvincing,​ very feeble movements.  +Finally, after what seemed ages, she suddenly stopped fondling herself—apparently my immobility had started to irritate her.\\  
-She watched me derisively for some moments. “I see I’m going find something to encourage you.” She moved out of my vision and I could hear her walk towards the door. “Let’s see if I can find something down below to liven you up- a blowlamp perhaps ” +“Don’t just hang there passively, struggle like you did early on!”\\ 
-She went out the door, closing it carefully behind her and I could hear her heels clattering on the bare wooden stairs leading to the ground floor.  +However, she’d chained and manacled my limbs so viciously tight that I was almost in a state of paralysis. I could only manage some unconvincing,​ very feeble movements.\\  
-Once again I was alone in the grubby domestic bedroom I’d innocently entered hours before. +She watched me derisively for some moments. “I see I’m going find something to encourage you.” She moved out of my vision and I could hear her walk towards the door. “Let’s see if I can find something down below to liven you up- a blowlamp perhaps ”\\ 
-Unfortunately the temporary relief of her absence only transformed the focus of my wretchedness from the endless dread of the activities of my pitiless tormenter, to the full sensation of the extreme agony I was experiencing from all areas of my body. +She went out the door, closing it carefully behind her and I could hear her heels clattering on the bare wooden stairs leading to the ground floor.\\  
-I was almost going out of my mind in frustrated helplessness while different parts of my pain-racked frame screamed out for soothing relief. The vicious tightness of her savage bindings alone was excruciating enough, virtually paralysing me into complete immobility. +Once again I was alone in the grubby domestic bedroom I’d innocently entered hours before.\\ 
-I’d lost all sense of time, but I knew I’d been a prisoner in this dreadful room for considerably longer than three hours. +Unfortunately the temporary relief of her absence only transformed the focus of my wretchedness from the endless dread of the activities of my pitiless tormenter, to the full sensation of the extreme agony I was experiencing from all areas of my body.\\ 
-The crazy speculation about my possible fate at the hands of this relentlessly merciless creature—what I’d buried in the back of my mind—came flooding back.  +I was almost going out of my mind in frustrated helplessness while different parts of my pain-racked frame screamed out for soothing relief. The vicious tightness of her savage bindings alone was excruciating enough, virtually paralysing me into complete immobility.\\ 
-CHAPTER 16: ASPHYXIATION +I’d lost all sense of time, but I knew I’d been a prisoner in this dreadful room for considerably longer than three hours.\\ 
-Trying to get some feeling back into my tightly manacled hands, I touched the black dildo protruding from my back passage.  She’d forced it up with her usual total indifference to the agony I would be experiencing,​ and after her recent activities with it, it now felt like a large red hot log all the way up my backside, virtually into my stomach.  +The crazy speculation about my possible fate at the hands of this relentlessly merciless creature—what I’d buried in the back of my mind—came flooding back.\\ 
-Desperate to relieve just one of the many excruciating aches and pains emulating from my body, I attempted to draw part or all of it out.  +\\  
-But I was bound so tight and in such a position, that the dildo seemed almost welded up my backside and I was now so weak, combined with my numb fingers, the effort was hopeless.    +**CHAPTER 16: ASPHYXIATION**\\ 
-With my failure to relieve just one area of pain, the confirmation of my total helplessness relapsed me into a state of wretched despair. I hurt so much that I didn’t even react with my usual terrified dread when I heard her coming back up the stairs.  +\\ 
-The door opened, “You’re still here then?” she mocked. +Trying to get some feeling back into my tightly manacled hands, I touched the black dildo protruding from my back passage.  She’d forced it up with her usual total indifference to the agony I would be experiencing,​ and after her recent activities with it, it now felt like a large red hot log all the way up my backside, virtually into my stomach.\\  
-Closing the door, I heard her walk over to me and before I could begin to perceive what she was up to, I felt her swiftly pulling a plastic bag over my head and then use a length of her thin rope to seal the base of it round my neck.  +Desperate to relieve just one of the many excruciating aches and pains emulating from my body, I attempted to draw part or all of it out.\\  
-For a moment, I just couldn’t comprehend or even believe what she’d done, but as the sound of my breathing resonated around the bag, I instantly woke up from my exhausted stupor and started struggling desperately in a hopeless attempt to get it off.  +But I was bound so tight and in such a position, that the dildo seemed almost welded up my backside and I was now so weak, combined with my numb fingers, the effort was hopeless.\\    
-The bag was transparent and, fighting the chains binding me, I tried by my wild eye movements staring at her, hoping that seeing my distress, she might have second thoughts about her actions. But all I could see was excitement on her face as she stood up close to me, silently studying my reactions.  +With my failure to relieve just one area of pain, the confirmation of my total helplessness relapsed me into a state of wretched despair. I hurt so much that I didn’t even react with my usual terrified dread when I heard her coming back up the stairs.\\  
-I was almost going insane with terror while desperately trying to ration the small amount of air left.   But panic took over and the bag sealed itself on my face shutting off all air. Then I really struggled, ignoring the agonizing pain of the chains biting deeper into the already torn flesh of my tightly fettered body.  +The door opened, “You’re still here then?” she mocked.\\ 
-God, it was horrific! The pain in my lungs as they screamed for air, the terrifying conviction I was about to die a horrible death. My head felt it was about to explode.  +Closing the door, I heard her walk over to me and before I could begin to perceive what she was up to, I felt her swiftly pulling a plastic bag over my head and then use a length of her thin rope to seal the base of it round my neck.\\  
-Then suddenly, just before I became unconscious,​ I found myself able to suck in great nostrils full of life giving oxygen. Oh, the momentary relief!  +For a moment, I just couldn’t comprehend or even believe what she’d done, but as the sound of my breathing resonated around the bag, I instantly woke up from my exhausted stupor and started struggling desperately in a hopeless attempt to get it off.\\  
-I opened my eyes and slowly became conscious of the fact that she’d untied the rope and pulled the bag off.  +The bag was transparent and, fighting the chains binding me, I tried by my wild eye movements staring at her, hoping that seeing my distress, she might have second thoughts about her actions. But all I could see was excitement on her face as she stood up close to me, silently studying my reactions.\\  
-“You didn’t really think I’d let you off the hook that easily, did you?   I was just fascinated to see how someone struggling in his death throes acted,” she enthused. “It was really exciting to watch. Jesus, I was wetting myself watching your desperate struggles.”  +I was almost going insane with terror while desperately trying to ration the small amount of air left.   But panic took over and the bag sealed itself on my face shutting off all air. Then I really struggled, ignoring the agonizing pain of the chains biting deeper into the already torn flesh of my tightly fettered body.\\  
-She tugged playfully on my pinioned elbows. “Was it as thrilling for you as it was to me? You didn’t seem to be enjoying it that much, struggling and jerking about like crazy. Your eyes were practically popping out of your head.”  +God, it was horrific! The pain in my lungs as they screamed for air, the terrifying conviction I was about to die a horrible death. My head felt it was about to explode.\\  
-She fingered the tight chain cutting into my elbows and marvelled almost to herself. +Then suddenly, just before I became unconscious,​ I found myself able to suck in great nostrils full of life giving oxygen. Oh, the momentary relief!\\ 
-“I wonder what it’s really feels like to experience asphyxiation and not being able to lift even a finger to save yourself.” +I opened my eyes and slowly became conscious of the fact that she’d untied the rope and pulled the bag off.\\  
-She stood back and observed my still quivering body with wicked approval.  +“You didn’t really think I’d let you off the hook that easily, did you?   I was just fascinated to see how someone struggling in his death throes acted,” she enthused. “It was really exciting to watch. Jesus, I was wetting myself watching your desperate struggles.”\\  
-“It would have been even more exciting if I could have done it without the gag. Then I could have watched your mouth trying to scream and gasp for air at the same time.”  +She tugged playfully on my pinioned elbows. “Was it as thrilling for you as it was to me? You didn’t seem to be enjoying it that much, struggling and jerking about like crazy. Your eyes were practically popping out of your head.”\\  
-She examined the bag. “It only warns here about babies and children?​” she feigned perplexity. “So it should be safe on a grown male, even if he’s all tied up and blubbering away like a big baby.” She waved to bag in front of me. “Shall we try again to prove these baggy people are wrong?” +She fingered the tight chain cutting into my elbows and marvelled almost to herself.\\ 
-The very thought made me scream and scream as I tried to show from my cruelly constrained position that I was pleading and pleading for just one small merciful act.  +“I wonder what it’s really feels like to experience asphyxiation and not being able to lift even a finger to save yourself.”\\ 
-This seemed to be the reaction she was expecting as she watched me intently, studying my efforts to communicate my torment.  +She stood back and observed my still quivering body with wicked approval.\\  
-She viewed my now very debilitated and exhausted body, struggling in my bonds, my eyes bulging with my attempts to actually for mercy as if she was dispassionately observing some sort of experiment. Her wide, bright eyes were luminous with malicious, cold-hearted amusement.  +“It would have been even more exciting if I could have done it without the gag. Then I could have watched your mouth trying to scream and gasp for air at the same time.”\\  
-After what seemed ages, she suddenly made up her mind and walked towards me.  +She examined the bag. “It only warns here about babies and children?​” she feigned perplexity. “So it should be safe on a grown male, even if he’s all tied up and blubbering away like a big baby.” She waved to bag in front of me. “Shall we try again to prove these baggy people are wrong?”\\ 
-She came up close and pressed her latex clad body against my side and teasingly kept forcing the bag against my nose as I frantically kept turning my gagged face in all direction to avoid it. +The very thought made me scream and scream as I tried to show from my cruelly constrained position that I was pleading and pleading for just one small merciful act.\\  
-“Let’s play a game shall we? I’ll keep pulling this bag on and off your head and you’ll have to guess how many it’ll be before I get bored and just leave it tied on.”  +This seemed to be the reaction she was expecting as she watched me intently, studying my efforts to communicate my torment.\\  
- +She viewed my now very debilitated and exhausted body, struggling in my bonds, my eyes bulging with my attempts to actually for mercy as if she was dispassionately observing some sort of experiment. Her wide, bright eyes were luminous with malicious, cold-hearted amusement.\\  
-CHAPTER 17: BEWILDERMENT.+After what seemed ages, she suddenly made up her mind and walked towards me.\\  
 +She came up close and pressed her latex clad body against my side and teasingly kept forcing the bag against my nose as I frantically kept turning my gagged face in all direction to avoid it.\\ 
 +“Let’s play a game shall we? I’ll keep pulling this bag on and off your head and you’ll have to guess how many it’ll be before I get bored and just leave it tied on.” ​\\ 
 +\\ 
 +**CHAPTER 17: BEWILDERMENT.**\\ 
 +\\
 She attempted to pull the bag over my head again, but I was still making frantic efforts to avoid it, vigorously moving head around. She attempted to pull the bag over my head again, but I was still making frantic efforts to avoid it, vigorously moving head around.
-“Keep your head still!” +“Keep your head still!”\\ 
-For the first time in the session, I ignored her command. The nightmare experience of my near asphyxiation momentarily overruled my terror of this relentlessly merciless dominatrix.  +For the first time in the session, I ignored her command. The nightmare experience of my near asphyxiation momentarily overruled my terror of this relentlessly merciless dominatrix.\\  
-With an angry motion, she discarded the bag and moved out of sight for a moment. +With an angry motion, she discarded the bag and moved out of sight for a moment\\
-Then I felt her behind me, threading her thin rope through the leather straps of my gag at the back of my head.+Then I felt her behind me, threading her thin rope through the leather straps of my gag at the back of my head.\\
 Before I realised what she was up to, she swiftly jerked my head back and bound my gag to the hanging chain, immobilising any head movement. ​ Before I realised what she was up to, she swiftly jerked my head back and bound my gag to the hanging chain, immobilising any head movement. ​
-She came back in front of me, holding the bag again, “Now try to move your bloody head!” +She came back in front of me, holding the bag again, “Now try to move your bloody head!”\\ 
-She approached me with the bag open.  My eyes were bulging with horror and my desperate attempts to move my head only tightened my gag, forcing the rubber penis further into my mouth nearly choking me.  +She approached me with the bag open.  My eyes were bulging with horror and my desperate attempts to move my head only tightened my gag, forcing the rubber penis further into my mouth nearly choking me.\\  
-She paused, once again callously observing my extreme anguish.  +She paused, once again callously observing my extreme anguish.\\  
-“Reminds me of when I used to tie my little step-brother to his bed, amuse myself with him and then leave him tied up real tight all night.  He had the same look of terror on his face when I’d appear with my bindings as you have on your face right now.”  +“Reminds me of when I used to tie my little step-brother to his bed, amuse myself with him and then leave him tied up real tight all night.  He had the same look of terror on his face when I’d appear with my bindings as you have on your face right now.”\\  
-Slowly, as if to emphasise my utter helplessness,​ she pulled the plastic bag down over my head again. +Slowly, as if to emphasise my utter helplessness,​ she pulled the plastic bag down over my head again.\\ 
-She couldn’t pull it fully down because of the binding on my gag, so she forced the plastic tight against my face. +She couldn’t pull it fully down because of the binding on my gag, so she forced the plastic tight against my face.\\ 
-But before I began to experience the nightmare of the first asphyxiation,​ she let go of the bag and left it loose, enabling me to frantically suck air through my nostrils.    +But before I began to experience the nightmare of the first asphyxiation,​ she let go of the bag and left it loose, enabling me to frantically suck air through my nostrils.\\    
- She moved back again and stood in front of me once more, gazing intently in a sort of callous fascination at the wretched, dehumanised creature her barbaric activities had fashioned.  + She moved back again and stood in front of me once more, gazing intently in a sort of callous fascination at the wretched, dehumanised creature her barbaric activities had fashioned.\\  
-She quietly murmured to herself almost in wonder: “Well, I’ve certainly transformed you into a genuine and fairly pitiful slave in every sense of the word.  I can’t believe how easy you made it for me. ” +She quietly murmured to herself almost in wonder: “Well, I’ve certainly transformed you into a genuine and fairly pitiful slave in every sense of the word.  I can’t believe how easy you made it for me. ”\\ 
-Shaking her head as if to dismiss those thoughts, she came up close and, unbelievably,​ started running her hands up and down my body in an affectionate manner. ​+Shaking her head as if to dismiss those thoughts, she came up close and, unbelievably,​ started running her hands up and down my body in an affectionate manner.\\ 
 Then I felt her hug me and she whispered in my ear: “I’ve read that men being hanged, jerked off at the last moment swinging on the end of a rope… or was it they fouled themselves? ​ Then I felt her hug me and she whispered in my ear: “I’ve read that men being hanged, jerked off at the last moment swinging on the end of a rope… or was it they fouled themselves? ​
-Her satin gloved hand, fondled my penis, “Whatever… I notice though, you didn’t even get a tiny erection when you were struggling for air, or even when I simulated rape. What does one have to do to get you excited again?” +Her satin gloved hand, fondled my penis, “Whatever… I notice though, you didn’t even get a tiny erection when you were struggling for air, or even when I simulated rape. What does one have to do to get you excited again?”\\ 
-She pressed in closer, virtually caressing me, her tongue exploring my ear and I could feel the nipples of her breasts firm against my bare, lacerated chest. I realized she’d slipped the top of her latex dress down exposing them.  +She pressed in closer, virtually caressing me, her tongue exploring my ear and I could feel the nipples of her breasts firm against my bare, lacerated chest. I realized she’d slipped the top of her latex dress down exposing them.\\  
-She whispered, “Can you feel my breasts against you? Would you love to fondle them?” Her hand strayed down to my manacled wrists as she forced her latex clad hips against my groin. “But you can’t, can you? You hands aren’t free to wander, are they?” she teased. “Shall I become very compassionate and release them so you can explore my whole body?” +She whispered, “Can you feel my breasts against you? Would you love to fondle them?” Her hand strayed down to my manacled wrists as she forced her latex clad hips against my groin. “But you can’t, can you? You hands aren’t free to wander, are they?” she teased. “Shall I become very compassionate and release them so you can explore my whole body?”\\ 
-She now felt down between our tightly coupled bodies and again, took my flaccid penis in her satiny-gloved hand and started gently massaging it. +She now felt down between our tightly coupled bodies and again, took my flaccid penis in her satiny-gloved hand and started gently massaging it.\\ 
-“Oh my poor helpless, baby,” She was now kissing some areas she’d burnt with her cigarettes.  +“Oh my poor helpless, baby,” She was now kissing some areas she’d burnt with her cigarettes.\\  
-“Has this naughty female been mean to you? Let me kiss away the pain.” +“Has this naughty female been mean to you? Let me kiss away the pain.”\\ 
- +\\ 
-PART FIVE +**CHAPTER 18: RELEASED!**\\ 
- +\\ 
-CHAPTER 18: RELEASED! +My whole body had by now become just a complete agony zone with pain screaming out from all parts and so my throbbing brain initially couldn’t take in this new development in my torment. I faintly assumed that it was just another mocking prelude to further diabolical torment and torture.\\ 
-My whole body had by now become just a complete agony zone with pain screaming out from all parts and so my throbbing brain initially couldn’t take in this new development in my torment. I faintly assumed that it was just another mocking prelude to further diabolical torment and torture. +As she continued, though it became even more unreal. I couldn’t comprehend how she wasn’t aware that in my present condition, it would be impossible to masturbate me.\\ 
-As she continued, though it became even more unreal. I couldn’t comprehend how she wasn’t aware that in my present condition, it would be impossible to masturbate me. +
 My penis though, after a time and almost independently,​ did start responding and actually getting a sort of erection. ​ My penis though, after a time and almost independently,​ did start responding and actually getting a sort of erection. ​
-After a period, despite the appalling physical and mental state I was in suspended on that chain—and to my bewildered surprise—some part of my fevered brain also began to react to that primitive sensation.  +After a period, despite the appalling physical and mental state I was in suspended on that chain—and to my bewildered surprise—some part of my fevered brain also began to react to that primitive sensation.\\  
-Despite all the extreme torment she’d inflicted upon me and all the pain racking about in my brain, just the sensation of her exquisite and seductive body pressed up against me, I became aware again of her incredible loveliness. She had the uncanny power to redirect my tormented mind into this new direction of her choosing.  +Despite all the extreme torment she’d inflicted upon me and all the pain racking about in my brain, just the sensation of her exquisite and seductive body pressed up against me, I became aware again of her incredible loveliness. She had the uncanny power to redirect my tormented mind into this new direction of her choosing.\\  
-Acting as if she was now madly attracted to this creature she’d so brutally maimed, she expertly seduced me as I hung in my chains. At the same time, she sensuously massaged my penis and I was unable to resist this new and unexpected assault on my senses.  +Acting as if she was now madly attracted to this creature she’d so brutally maimed, she expertly seduced me as I hung in my chains. At the same time, she sensuously massaged my penis and I was unable to resist this new and unexpected assault on my senses.\\  
-My penis had a tiny ejaculation as the residue of my spunk tricked out, but I was in far too much pain to receive anywhere near a normal simultaneous sensation in my brain.  +My penis had a tiny ejaculation as the residue of my spunk tricked out, but I was in far too much pain to receive anywhere near a normal simultaneous sensation in my brain. ​\\ 
-“I’m sorry, I had to hurry you along,” she said. “It’s well past the period you paid for and you never seemed to get another hard on no matter what I did.”  +“I’m sorry, I had to hurry you along,” she said. “It’s well past the period you paid for and you never seemed to get another hard on no matter what I did.”\\  
-She had moved behind me, undone the neck chain and had started unbuckling my gag. Even in my paranoid state, the very sudden change in her voice and actions caused me to sense that she’d continue with the unexpected transition in the session.  +She had moved behind me, undone the neck chain and had started unbuckling my gag. Even in my paranoid state, the very sudden change in her voice and actions caused me to sense that she’d continue with the unexpected transition in the session.\\  
-Oh my God, please, please – could it be that I really wasn’t going to suffer continuous suffocation or torture after all?  +Oh my God, please, please – could it be that I really wasn’t going to suffer continuous suffocation or torture after all?\\  
-But even as she began releasing me, cursing irritably as she tried different keys to open the padlocks and actually talking to me as a human being once again, I was still wound up as tight as a drum. I was still fearful that this was just another cruel trap and she’d suddenly revert to her sadistic activities just when I thought I was free. +But even as she began releasing me, cursing irritably as she tried different keys to open the padlocks and actually talking to me as a human being once again, I was still wound up as tight as a drum. I was still fearful that this was just another cruel trap and she’d suddenly revert to her sadistic activities just when I thought I was free.\\ 
 Finally released, I sunk to my knees and wept tears of relief as the dildo was painfully removed, despite her efforts to ease the procedure. ​ Finally released, I sunk to my knees and wept tears of relief as the dildo was painfully removed, despite her efforts to ease the procedure. ​
-For a time, I knelt there virtually paralysed as the feeling came back into my limbs and the full effects of her merciless assault swept over my trembling body. +For a time, I knelt there virtually paralysed as the feeling came back into my limbs and the full effects of her merciless assault swept over my trembling body.\\ 
-She was starting to get restless as I knelt trying to recover the ability to simply move and function.  +She was starting to get restless as I knelt trying to recover the ability to simply move and function.\\  
-When I finally, laboriously,​ got to my feet, I found I could only move and operate as if I were a disabled semi-crippled person, one very much wracked with agonizing pain. +When I finally, laboriously,​ got to my feet, I found I could only move and operate as if I were a disabled semi-crippled person, one very much wracked with agonizing pain.\\ 
- +\\ 
-CHAPTER 19: ENJOYING IT? +**CHAPTER 19: ENJOYING IT?**\\ 
-Despite the fact she’d already long since exposed my pretence of stoical manliness, somehow instinctively,​ I was endeavouring to hide from the dominatrix just how much pain I was experiencing as a result of her brutally savage torture. +\\ 
-I started to dress myself with great difficulty in my raw, inflamed, aching and exhausted condition.  +Despite the fact she’d already long since exposed my pretence of stoical manliness, somehow instinctively,​ I was endeavouring to hide from the dominatrix just how much pain I was experiencing as a result of her brutally savage torture.\\ 
-Seeing my awkward and clumsy efforts, she came over and started helping me. +I started to dress myself with great difficulty in my raw, inflamed, aching and exhausted condition.\\  
-As the afternoon had progressed, the apprentice mistress had, in my increasingly agitated, unstable and almost insane mind, grown to the magnitude of a sort of supreme, all-powerful,​ very malevolent and cruel super-woman. +Seeing my awkward and clumsy efforts, she came over and started helping me.\\ 
-So as it was out of the question that I could begin to lose both the awe and the great fear I had of her in such a short period. I found myself flinching with anxiety and nervousness at her close proximity as she helped me dress, and at times I had to keep resisting the impulse to drop down on my knees as it didn’t seem appropriate to be standing in her presence.  +As the afternoon had progressed, the apprentice mistress had, in my increasingly agitated, unstable and almost insane mind, grown to the magnitude of a sort of supreme, all-powerful,​ very malevolent and cruel super-woman.\\ 
-She, on the other hand, was aroused and animated.  +So as it was out of the question that I could begin to lose both the awe and the great fear I had of her in such a short period. I found myself flinching with anxiety and nervousness at her close proximity as she helped me dress, and at times I had to keep resisting the impulse to drop down on my knees as it didn’t seem appropriate to be standing in her presence\\.  
-I kept hearing what a turn-on the session had been as it was, ‘Better than any sex she’d ever had – she was wet all down her legs from continuous orgasms!’ +She, on the other hand, was aroused and animated. ​\\ 
-I learned how she’d prolonged our session beyond the time I’d paid for – because we were both enjoying it so much!  +I kept hearing what a turn-on the session had been as it was, ‘Better than any sex she’d ever had – she was wet all down her legs from continuous orgasms!’\\ 
-I must have finally got up the nerve to mutter that it had been a ‘bit over the top’, because she became silent for a moment. I could tell she’d suddenly become a bit annoyed, as she pointed out, quite correctly from her point of view I suppose, that she’d only performed exactly as I’d requested and anyway, “You obviously must have been loving it as well, I’ve never seen a prick your size grow that big and hard – or so much spunk either.”  +I learned how she’d prolonged our session beyond the time I’d paid for – because we were both enjoying it so much!\\  
-I couldn’t have explained that bizarre anomaly had I have been mentally sound at the time.  +I must have finally got up the nerve to mutter that it had been a ‘bit over the top’, because she became silent for a moment. I could tell she’d suddenly become a bit annoyed, as she pointed out, quite correctly from her point of view I suppose, that she’d only performed exactly as I’d requested and anyway, “You obviously must have been loving it as well, I’ve never seen a prick your size grow that big and hard – or so much spunk either.” ​\\ 
-She looked at me quizzically and then observed what was in her mind, an undeniable fact, “Anyway, if you wanted to terminate the session early, why on earth did you let me bind and gag you again when you were perfectly free?”+I couldn’t have explained that bizarre anomaly had I have been mentally sound at the time.\\  
 +She looked at me quizzically and then observed what was in her mind, an undeniable fact, “Anyway, if you wanted to terminate the session early, why on earth did you let me bind and gag you again when you were perfectly free?”\\
 I couldn’t rationally answer that either; all I could think of was little else other than to get out of that room. I became instantly fearful at her change of tone and desperate not to antagonize her or give her cause to get irritated, so I quickly abandoned that issue. ​ I couldn’t rationally answer that either; all I could think of was little else other than to get out of that room. I became instantly fearful at her change of tone and desperate not to antagonize her or give her cause to get irritated, so I quickly abandoned that issue. ​
-The thought I might give her some excuse to suddenly change her mind and enslave me again was just too dreadful to contemplate. +The thought I might give her some excuse to suddenly change her mind and enslave me again was just too dreadful to contemplate.\\ 
-I changed tack completely and started babbling about how wonderful both she and the session had been and she seemed appeased and mollified.  +I changed tack completely and started babbling about how wonderful both she and the session had been and she seemed appeased and mollified.\\  
-The fear that she might have further inflicted cruel torment upon my helpless body wasn’t just a paranoid delusion either. In my disturbed state, actually only comprehending parts of her enthusiastic chatter, I began to realize that it was only the fact that her second client was due quite soon that obliged her to end the session when she did.  +The fear that she might have further inflicted cruel torment upon my helpless body wasn’t just a paranoid delusion either. In my disturbed state, actually only comprehending parts of her enthusiastic chatter, I began to realize that it was only the fact that her second client was due quite soon that obliged her to end the session when she did.\\  
-I think I owe that particular submissive male my sanity.  +I think I owe that particular submissive male my sanity.\\  
-I know I’d have eventually gone stark raving mad had she continually bagged my head as she’d threatened or had thought up some even more terrifying ordeals.  +I know I’d have eventually gone stark raving mad had she continually bagged my head as she’d threatened or had thought up some even more terrifying ordeals.\\  
-Still frantically nervous, my tension only started subsiding somewhat when she was ushering me down the stairs.  +Still frantically nervous, my tension only started subsiding somewhat when she was ushering me down the stairs.\\  
-I couldn’t even look at all my equipment, and I left it with her muttering something about picking it up at the next session.  +I couldn’t even look at all my equipment, and I left it with her muttering something about picking it up at the next session.\\  
-When I reached the pavement and the door closed behind me, I knew for certain that she really had released me and I was now free. I staggered some steps along the road and hung on to a lamppost for support. Tears of pure relief flowed down my cheeks at the certain knowledge that my nightmare was over. +When I reached the pavement and the door closed behind me, I knew for certain that she really had released me and I was now free. I staggered some steps along the road and hung on to a lamppost for support. Tears of pure relief flowed down my cheeks at the certain knowledge that my nightmare was over.\\ 
-I desperately needed to pee, so I shuffled to a convenient alleyway and noticed there was blood in my urine, but I couldn’t give a damn at that stage.  +I desperately needed to pee, so I shuffled to a convenient alleyway and noticed there was blood in my urine, but I couldn’t give a damn at that stage.\\  
-I remember little about the journey home.  +I remember little about the journey home.\\  
-All my body was screaming out, but the main difficulty getting home was from just walking, as the pain in the soles of my feet made movement agonizing and of course, sitting on the train seats was out of the question.  +All my body was screaming out, but the main difficulty getting home was from just walking, as the pain in the soles of my feet made movement agonizing and of course, sitting on the train seats was out of the question.\\  
-One look at my condition in the mirror when I got home, confirmed the shocking state I’d been reduced to. It also explained why I’d been stared at most of the time during my journey. My exposed neck was red raw and still bleeding in places, and the marks from the tight straps of my gag were clearly etched across my face.  +One look at my condition in the mirror when I got home, confirmed the shocking state I’d been reduced to. It also explained why I’d been stared at most of the time during my journey. My exposed neck was red raw and still bleeding in places, and the marks from the tight straps of my gag were clearly etched across my face.\\  
-I wasn’t at all bothered; the reactions of the general public were the least of my problems at that time. I really should have been in hospital, but that was out of the question, as they would have obviously called the police.  +I wasn’t at all bothered; the reactions of the general public were the least of my problems at that time. I really should have been in hospital, but that was out of the question, as they would have obviously called the police.\\  
-So I ran a bath, took a lot of painkillers,​ and tried to sooth my wounds in tepid water.  +So I ran a bath, took a lot of painkillers,​ and tried to sooth my wounds in tepid water.\\  
-But all my efforts had a fairly marginal effect. I’d been too brutalized both mentally and physically to find any real relief in the short term. +But all my efforts had a fairly marginal effect. I’d been too brutalized both mentally and physically to find any real relief in the short term.\\\\ 
 I had no rest all that night. ​ I had no rest all that night. ​
-It was impossible to find any relaxing position that wasn’t painful; even my softest chairs, cushions, pillows and mattress, felt like concrete against my wounded flesh.  +It was impossible to find any relaxing position that wasn’t painful; even my softest chairs, cushions, pillows and mattress, felt like concrete against my wounded flesh.\\  
- +\\ 
-CHAPTER 20: SLOW RECOVERY. +**CHAPTER 20: SLOW RECOVERY.**\\ 
-Even had I got physically comfortable that night, the mental turmoil I was going through would have ensured I’d have no peace or rest. By morning, I still had not even begun to calm down. I was still extremely agitated, anxious and my nerves were constantly on edge.  +\\ 
-Work was out of the question and I knew I had to somehow make the effort to get out to visit my doctor.  I was lucky in that respect as he was both just a short walk away and also of Middle Eastern origin.  +Even had I got physically comfortable that night, the mental turmoil I was going through would have ensured I’d have no peace or rest. By morning, I still had not even begun to calm down. I was still extremely agitated, anxious and my nerves were constantly on edge.\\  
-Pretty hopeless as a doctor, but I’d found him very useful in the past as he’d write medical certificates at the drop of a hat.  +Work was out of the question and I knew I had to somehow make the effort to get out to visit my doctor.  I was lucky in that respect as he was both just a short walk away and also of Middle Eastern origin.\\  
-He was shocked, of course, at my condition, but seemed to accept my fabricated story that I’d owed a criminal gang thousands in gambling debts and this torture was a warning message when I told them I couldn’t repay right away.  +Pretty hopeless as a doctor, but I’d found him very useful in the past as he’d write medical certificates at the drop of a hat.\\  
-Telling me I should at least go to the police and hospital casualty, he nevertheless instantly wrote a medical certificate for a month and prescriptions for strong painkillers,​ sleeping pills, ointments and dressings.  +He was shocked, of course, at my condition, but seemed to accept my fabricated story that I’d owed a criminal gang thousands in gambling debts and this torture was a warning message when I told them I couldn’t repay right away.\\  
-It takes little imagination to understand what I went through that month as my flesh wounds slowly healed. The strong painkillers and sleeping pills were a godsend as the pain took a long time to subside.  +Telling me I should at least go to the police and hospital casualty, he nevertheless instantly wrote a medical certificate for a month and prescriptions for strong painkillers,​ sleeping pills, ointments and dressings.\\  
-I hardly bothered about eating in the first few days after and so my normal bowl movements were disrupted. But the first time I did manage to pass a motion, the pain in my backside felt like what it must be like to give birth.+It takes little imagination to understand what I went through that month as my flesh wounds slowly healed. The strong painkillers and sleeping pills were a godsend as the pain took a long time to subside.\\  
 +I hardly bothered about eating in the first few days after and so my normal bowl movements were disrupted. But the first time I did manage to pass a motion, the pain in my backside felt like what it must be like to give birth.\\
 For a long period, I was also mentally in denial. I’d keep getting visions of the dominatrix, but every time my thoughts began to drift beyond her and towards remembering the experience I’d had in that room, my brain would instantly reject them and shut down the subject. ​ For a long period, I was also mentally in denial. I’d keep getting visions of the dominatrix, but every time my thoughts began to drift beyond her and towards remembering the experience I’d had in that room, my brain would instantly reject them and shut down the subject. ​
-Of course, that couldn’t last for long and once the floodgates were open, I simply couldn’t stop my mind going over again and again, what had happened to me.  +Of course, that couldn’t last for long and once the floodgates were open, I simply couldn’t stop my mind going over again and again, what had happened to me.\\  
-The constant recollection of those hours naturally produced an incredible variety of complex, contradictory,​ bizarre and sometimes, almost deranged emotions.  +The constant recollection of those hours naturally produced an incredible variety of complex, contradictory,​ bizarre and sometimes, almost deranged emotions.\\  
-I could just about function physically by the time I went back to work—being careful to cover up all the wounds and lacerations that were still not nearly healed. +I could just about function physically by the time I went back to work—being careful to cover up all the wounds and lacerations that were still not nearly healed.\\ 
-But I was still very much in mental turmoil and not really capable of concentrating on any task for long before my mind would start returning obsessively to thoughts of that afternoon. I soon realized I wasn’t capable at that time of working normally, and I left the company by mutual consent.  +But I was still very much in mental turmoil and not really capable of concentrating on any task for long before my mind would start returning obsessively to thoughts of that afternoon. I soon realized I wasn’t capable at that time of working normally, and I left the company by mutual consent.\\  
-It was about three months later when I finally decided I simply had to visit that female again. I suppose many males, suffering what I’d been through, would have gone around sooner and confronted her.  +It was about three months later when I finally decided I simply had to visit that female again. I suppose many males, suffering what I’d been through, would have gone around sooner and confronted her.\\  
-I’d thought about it at times, especially early on when I was still in some pain. But deep down, I knew I was kidding myself about a confrontation. I’m simply not the sort of person that gets confrontational;​ I wouldn’t really know how to start in such a situation. I also knew I would be rather nervous at just the thought of trying to face up to that young lady in a confrontational manner.  +I’d thought about it at times, especially early on when I was still in some pain. But deep down, I knew I was kidding myself about a confrontation. I’m simply not the sort of person that gets confrontational;​ I wouldn’t really know how to start in such a situation. I also knew I would be rather nervous at just the thought of trying to face up to that young lady in a confrontational manner.\\  
-I couldn’t actually guarantee either, so soon after, that I wouldn’t fall on my knees the moment she opened the door and what she might do to me if that happened. +I couldn’t actually guarantee either, so soon after, that I wouldn’t fall on my knees the moment she opened the door and what she might do to me if that happened\\
-I was still in the early stages of my recovery and the thought of adding further trauma to my damaged body was unthinkable.  +I was still in the early stages of my recovery and the thought of adding further trauma to my damaged body was unthinkable.\\  
-All in all, the reasoning behind my decision to re-visit her was far too complex to fully describe, and as I suspected at the time, that many of the reasons I used to justify a visit were false, like the absurd desire to reveal to her the ‘real’ me.  +All in all, the reasoning behind my decision to re-visit her was far too complex to fully describe, and as I suspected at the time, that many of the reasons I used to justify a visit were false, like the absurd desire to reveal to her the ‘real’ me.\\  
-The rational part of my brain simply knew for certain that, with the marks and wounds of my first visit still barely healed, (and some are still visible now, years later) I couldn’t possibly endure her version of torture again, physically or mentally. I would have to make that clear to her at the start. +The rational part of my brain simply knew for certain that, with the marks and wounds of my first visit still barely healed, (and some are still visible now, years later) I couldn’t possibly endure her version of torture again, physically or mentally. I would have to make that clear to her at the start.\\ 
-I knew that sensibly, I should also demand full control of the session.  +I knew that sensibly, I should also demand full control of the session. ​\\ 
-But at the same time, I kept having to suppress an almost irresistible desire in the back of my head for her, when I entered the room, to ignore my demands, immediately place me in bondage and do as she pleased with me once again. +But at the same time, I kept having to suppress an almost irresistible desire in the back of my head for her, when I entered the room, to ignore my demands, immediately place me in bondage and do as she pleased with me once again.\\ 
-Even if she didn’t do that, another emotion I was trying to repress was the painful suspicion that alone with her once again, any willpower I possessed would dissolve, despite fully appreciating all the potentially very alarming consequences that would entail when she realized she could indulge herself once more.  +Even if she didn’t do that, another emotion I was trying to repress was the painful suspicion that alone with her once again, any willpower I possessed would dissolve, despite fully appreciating all the potentially very alarming consequences that would entail when she realized she could indulge herself once more.\\  
-Male slaves really are ‘over the cuckoo nest’ at times.  +Male slaves really are ‘over the cuckoo nest’ at times.\\  
-So I felt incredibly nervous just dialling the number, but my mood changed instantly to one of unease and alarm as I got a disengaged signal.  +So I felt incredibly nervous just dialling the number, but my mood changed instantly to one of unease and alarm as I got a disengaged signal. ​\\ 
-Hurriedly dressing, I dashed to the Underground and took a train to her workplace.  +Hurriedly dressing, I dashed to the Underground and took a train to her workplace.\\  
-When I finally reached it, I was totally devastated.  +When I finally reached it, I was totally devastated.\\  
- +\\ 
-CHAPTER 21: HEARTBROKEN. +**CHAPTER 21: HEARTBROKEN.**\\ 
-In many ways, it was the worst, certainly the most disappointing moment of my life.  +\\ 
-The whole road had been demolished and cleared of housing. ​+In many ways, it was the worst, certainly the most disappointing moment of my life.\\  
 +The whole road had been demolished and cleared of housing.\\ 
 I stood there for hours, just staring. All sorts of thoughts were going through my mind. I stood there for hours, just staring. All sorts of thoughts were going through my mind.
-Eventually, I started rationalizing that perhaps all wasn’t lost. She was bound to find some new, probably better place to perform as a mistress and I’d find her again.  +Eventually, I started rationalizing that perhaps all wasn’t lost. She was bound to find some new, probably better place to perform as a mistress and I’d find her again. ​\\ 
-But she never did.  +But she never did.\\  
-Years later, I’ve still never really come to terms with the fact that she just disappeared from the scene. And of course, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve pondered the mystery; worked out all sorts of different scenarios of what might have happened.  +Years later, I’ve still never really come to terms with the fact that she just disappeared from the scene. And of course, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve pondered the mystery; worked out all sorts of different scenarios of what might have happened.\\  
-There are endless reasons as to why she would have suddenly left the professional mistress scene, but I know now that I’ll never find out the real reason.  +There are endless reasons as to why she would have suddenly left the professional mistress scene, but I know now that I’ll never find out the real reason.\\  
-Those devious magazine people kept her advert in for months after. Her photo was just too good for them to miss out on the money gained from fruitless inquiries. In fact that one photo was still being used in many S/M circles years later, especially in various magazines as an example of a perfect fantasy dominatrix.  +Those devious magazine people kept her advert in for months after. Her photo was just too good for them to miss out on the money gained from fruitless inquiries. In fact that one photo was still being used in many S/M circles years later, especially in various magazines as an example of a perfect fantasy dominatrix.\\  
-Naturally, I also kept replying, hoping that she’d started up again somewhere new.  +Naturally, I also kept replying, hoping that she’d started up again somewhere new.\\  
-I even kept looking through all the newspapers, half expecting to read of a sensational trial, with her up for grievous bodily harm or worse. I also, a bit tongue in cheek, looked to see if any chained up, tortured bodies were found dumped somewhere.  +I even kept looking through all the newspapers, half expecting to read of a sensational trial, with her up for grievous bodily harm or worse. I also, a bit tongue in cheek, looked to see if any chained up, tortured bodies were found dumped somewhere.\\  
-Neither was ever reported.  +Neither was ever reported.\\  
-Needless to say, all my subsequent visits to dozens of different professional mistresses over the years have been, well – pretty tame and disappointing.  +Needless to say, all my subsequent visits to dozens of different professional mistresses over the years have been, well – pretty tame and disappointing.\\  
-How could I really expect anything different?  +How could I really expect anything different?\\  
-It’s not really the mistress’s fault. They must think I’m some sort of nut as I can never really explain, or even know myself anymore; exactly what I want the mistress to do to me.  +It’s not really the mistress’s fault. They must think I’m some sort of nut as I can never really explain, or even know myself anymore; exactly what I want the mistress to do to me.\\  
-At the first mistress I went to after that afternoon, assuming that I was now capable of enduring some serious torture, I amazed myself by panicking at the very start and signalling for her to stop!  +At the first mistress I went to after that afternoon, assuming that I was now capable of enduring some serious torture, I amazed myself by panicking at the very start and signalling for her to stop! \\ 
-Feeling a bit foolish, I did explain that the previous mistress had gone over the top and I hadn’t yet recovered. Indeed, the evidence was still there quite clearly all over my body.  +Feeling a bit foolish, I did explain that the previous mistress had gone over the top and I hadn’t yet recovered. Indeed, the evidence was still there quite clearly all over my body.\\  
-She was professionally outraged at what had happened to me, (of course, I didn’t relate the full story) and said I should have taken some sort of action afterwards. I didn’t tell her that the only action I felt like taking now was to find her and once again, completely surrender to that beautiful sadist.  +She was professionally outraged at what had happened to me, (of course, I didn’t relate the full story) and said I should have taken some sort of action afterwards. I didn’t tell her that the only action I felt like taking now was to find her and once again, completely surrender to that beautiful sadist.\\  
-I eventually realized though, that even had I found her and we’d had another session, there was no possible way I could have relived again all the incredible and varied emotions I went through that afternoon.  +I eventually realized though, that even had I found her and we’d had another session, there was no possible way I could have relived again all the incredible and varied emotions I went through that afternoon.\\  
-I’d have loved just to be able to see her just once again and find out her subsequent thoughts on how she treated me. Did she ever wonder, in the short period she had left there, why I never revisited or even collected my gear? +I’d have loved just to be able to see her just once again and find out her subsequent thoughts on how she treated me. Did she ever wonder, in the short period she had left there, why I never revisited or even collected my gear?\\ 
-What would her reaction have been, opening the door and seeing me standing there?  +What would her reaction have been, opening the door and seeing me standing there? ​\\ 
-She must still think of me occasionally. They say women never forget their ‘first’ and she surely was never able to indulge herself so uninhibitedly at any time since. +She must still think of me occasionally. They say women never forget their ‘first’ and she surely was never able to indulge herself so uninhibitedly at any time since.\\ 
-A sobering thought is that even had I unlimited wealth and could comb the world employing the most beautiful women to torture me, I still couldn’t guarantee I’d experience any like the huge orgasm I’d had early on that afternoon.  +A sobering thought is that even had I unlimited wealth and could comb the world employing the most beautiful women to torture me, I still couldn’t guarantee I’d experience any like the huge orgasm I’d had early on that afternoon.\\  
-And no matter how much I was willing to pay, I certainly could never relive the dread and terror I felt in the second half of the session, when at times, I seriously thought I was about to be tortured to death.  +And no matter how much I was willing to pay, I certainly could never relive the dread and terror I felt in the second half of the session, when at times, I seriously thought I was about to be tortured to death.\\  
-When I start playing with myself in bed at night, nearly always it’s that second period that my thoughts turn to and it still never fails to produce some arousing and exhilarating eruptions. ​+When I start playing with myself in bed at night, nearly always it’s that second period that my thoughts turn to and it still never fails to produce some arousing and exhilarating eruptions.\\ 
 So considering all my sexual experiences in the Pro/Dom scene, the years since that fateful visit have been something of an anti-climax,​ to put it mildly. All in all, would I have been better off had I never seen that particular advert? ​ So considering all my sexual experiences in the Pro/Dom scene, the years since that fateful visit have been something of an anti-climax,​ to put it mildly. All in all, would I have been better off had I never seen that particular advert? ​
 I’ll let whoever reads my narrative of that afternoon make up their own minds. ​ I’ll let whoever reads my narrative of that afternoon make up their own minds. ​
an_afternoon_of_torment.txt · Last modified: 2015/03/05 06:48 (external edit)